Sarcastic Quotes On Sarcasm And Witty Wisdom

Let us put away the “Why so serious” face and have some fun with these sarcastic quotes, sayings, captions, and comments to help you laugh and embrace humor to overcome all the stress.

Sarcasm is a smart and creative way to convey your feelings in a clever and witty way. It may take various forms like a joke, pun, saying, remark that is funny, hilarious, mocking, or ironic.

• Sarcastic Inspirational Quotes

These sarcastic remarks and jokes are great to enjoy with friends, colleagues, and family to diffuse a tense or heavy situation.

Sarcasm is often used to mock or criticize someone or something, and it can be used to express frustration, anger, or disbelief. It’s time to be rude in humor! (Just Kidding) Enjoy!!

Though sarcasm can be a fun, quirky, and lighthearted way to communicate, it is important to use it responsibly so that it doesn’t hurt someone.

 Sarcastic Quotes for You

1. If your phone doesn’t ring, It’s ME. – Unknown                                                                                                             
2. Don’t study me..You won’t graduate. – Unknown                                                                                                               
3. I’m going to hell on a full scholarship. – Unknown                                                                                                                             
4. What doesn’t kill you, disappoints me. – Unknown                                                                                                 
5. Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said. – Unknown                                                                                                         
6. I’m multitasking..I can listen, ignore, and forget at the same time. – Unknown                                                                           

   

7. Sarcasm: the witty will have fun, but the stupid won’t get it. – Unknown                                                                                   
8. Revenge is beneath me. But Accidents Happen. – Unknown                                                                                                       
9. I’m 97% sure you don’t like me. But I’m 100% sure I don’t care. – Unknown                                                                               

   

10. If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ. – Unknown                                                                       

Witty Sarcastic Quotes

If you’re looking to add a dash of humor or a sprinkle of sass to your daily interactions, sarcastic lines are just the ticket.

These little nuggets of humor and irony allow you to say what you really mean but in a clever and often amusing way.

1. “Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.”
2. “You go, girl! And don’t come back.”
3. “Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.”
4. “Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!”
5. “I’m smiling…that alone should scare you.”
6. “You sound better with your mouth closed.”
7. “If I promise to miss you, will you go away?”
8. “I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.”
9. “Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.”
10. “I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”

Sarcasm Quotes

1. Fluent in sarcasm.. – Unknown                                                                                                                                                           

   

2. Everyone was thinking it. I just said it. – Unknown                                                                                                                                             
3. I’ve got a good heart but this mouth.. – Unknown                                                                                                                         
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up. – Unknown                                                                                                                       
5. I’m not insulting you. I’m describing you. – Unknown                                                                                                           
6. My alone time is sometimes for your safety. – Unknown                                                                                                       
7. People who reply to my sarcasm with sarcasm…are my favorite. – Unknown                                                                           

   

8. I don’t have the energy to pretend I like you today. – Unknown                                                                                                   

   

9. Sarcasm is a body’s natural defense against stupid. – Unknown                                                                                               

   

10. I am a nice person. Just don’t push the bitch button. – Unknown                                                                                       

Sarcastic Quotes To Make You Laugh

1. “Think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care!”– Anonymous
2. “Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.”– Anonymous
3. “I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.”– Anonymous
4. “Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.”– Anonymous
5. “I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?”– Anonymous
6. “Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.”– Anonymous
7. “It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.”– Anonymous
8. “Tell me… Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?”– Anonymous
9. “Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.”– Anonymous
10. “What did I do to give you the impression I actually care about what you think?”– Anonymous

Savage Quotes About Being Sarcastic

1. “Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.”– Anonymous
2. “Are you always so stupid or is today a special ocassion?”– Anonymous
3. “If had a dollar for every smart thing you say. I’ll be poor.”– Anonymous
4. “I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead.”– Anonymous
5. “If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me.”– Anonymous
6. “I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”– Anonymous
7. “Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.”– Anonymous
8. “I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.”– Anonymous
9. “You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.”
10. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.”– Anonymous

Epic Sarcastic Quotes

1. “Find your patience before I lose mine.”– Anonymous
2. “My ex had one very annoying habit: Breathing.”– Anonymous
3. “Yet despite the look on my face… you are still talking.”– Anonymous
4. “I’m not sarcastic. I’m just beyond your understanding.”– Anonymous
5. “Sarcasm: because beating the crap outta people is illegal.”– Anonymous
6. “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”– Anonymous
7. “Sarcasm – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”– Anonymous
8. “I don’t hate you, I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.”– Anonymous
9. “If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, then don’t ask a stupid question.”– Anonymous
10. “Sarcasm: because arguing with stupid people just wouldn’t be as much fun.”– Anonymous

Funny Sarcastic Quotes On Life

1. “Life’s good, you should get one.”
2. “All the good ones are taken.”– Murphy’s Laws
3. “Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.”– Murphy’s Laws
4. “If the person isn’t taken, there’s a reason.”– Murphy’s Laws
5. “The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.”– Mark Twain
6. “Violence won’t solve anything. But it sure makes me feel good.”– Anonymous
7. “Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.”– Anonymous
8. “No, you don’t have to repeat yourself. I was ignoring you the first time.”– Anonymous
9. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”– Oscar Wilde
10. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”– Anonymous

Funny Sarcastic Sayings

1. “I work until beer o’clock.” – Stephen King
2. “Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.” – John Wayne
3. “We are all born mad. Some remain so.” ― Samuel Beckett
4. “If you must make a noise, make it quietly.” – Oliver Hardy
5. “The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin
6. “99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.” ― Steven Wright
7. “It’s a match made in heaven…by a retarded angel.”– Woody Allen
8. “Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.”– Murphy’s Laws
9. “Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children.” – Sam Levenson
10. “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence.” ― Oscar Wilde

Funniest Sarcastic Love Quotes

1. My favorite party trick is not going.– Anonymous
2. “Single? No, I’m just in a relationship with freedom.”– Anonymous
3. “81% of boys have girlfriends. Rest 19% have brains.”– Anonymous
4. “Dear weather, don’t be so cool and romantic! We’re single.”– Anonymous
5. “Call her beautiful, not hot. She’s a woman, not temperature.”– Anonymous
6. “Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.”– Anonymous
7. “Oh… I didn’t tell you. Then it must be none of your business.”– Anonymous
8. “Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?”– Anonymous
9. “What is it called when your crush has a crush on you – Imagination.”– Anonymous
10. “I think I’m in a love triangle, I love myself, myself loves me, me loves I.”– Anonymous
11. “My girlfriend is so good at playing hide and seek. I haven’t found her yet.”– Anonymous
12. “Behind every angry woman stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.”
13. “Money can’t buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.”– Murphy’s Laws
14. “Before falling in love, remember a girl’s mood can change in just like 0.0003 seconds.”
15. “Dear heart, please stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood that’s it.”

Sarcastic Work Quotes

1. “The reward for good work is more work.”– Anonymous
2. “It’s not that I’m lazy, it’s that I just don’t care.”– Anonymous
3. “Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.”– Anonymous
4. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”– Anonymous
5. “I can barely wait to take credit for your great ideas.”– Anonymous
6. “You don’t have to be crazy to work here. We’ll train you.”– Anonymous
7. “You don’t have to be crazy to work here, but it sure helps.”– Anonymous
8. “Please try to schedule meetings around my job interviews.”– Anonymous
9. “I actively avoid office politics by hating everybody equally.”– Anonymous
10. “I’d have better people skills if I worked with better people.”– Anonymous
11. “I send pointless emails late at night to impress coworkers.”– Anonymous
12. “There’s no better vacation than my boss being on vacation.”– Anonymous
13. “I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen.”– Anonymous
14. “It’s so quiet in the office today, I can hear myself not working.”– Anonymous
15. “I wish we worked together so we could hate the same coworkers.”
16. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
17. “Congratulations on getting promoted to the job you’re already doing.”
18. “Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.”
19. “When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.”
20. “Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.” ― Scott Adams

Bitchy Sarcastic Friendship Quotes

1. “You always do me a favor, when you shut up!”– Anonymous
2. “Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.”– Anonymous
3. “If you have crazy friends then you have everything.”– Anonymous
4. “I love my phone because all my friends live inside it.”– Anonymous
5. “Friends come and go but enemies remain and build up.”– Anonymous
6. “I don’t know what’s tighter: our jeans or our friendship.”– Anonymous
7. “You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. I’ll train you.”– Anonymous
8. “Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid stuff alone.”– Anonymous
9. “Never let your best friends get lonely. Keep annoying them.”– Anonymous
10. “Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”– Anonymous
11. “I was an innocent being once…then my best friend came along.”– Anonymous
12. “You and I are more than friends. We’re like a really small gang.”– Anonymous
13. “Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.”– Anonymous
14. “Tell me how I have upset you because I want to know how to do it again.”– Anonymous
15. “True bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing.”– Anonymous

Inspirational Sarcastic Quotes 

1. Not sarcastic. Just brutally honest. – Unknown                                                                                                       
2. “Live a life without drama.” – Unknown                                                                                                                           
3. “When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.” – Unknown                                                                                                       
4. “You never learn anything by doing it right.” – Unknown                                                                                               
5. “Stupidity is not a crime, so you’re free to go.” – Unknown                                                                                             
6. “Always give 100%, except when giving blood.” – Unknown                  
7. “A pessimist’s blood type is always B-negative.” – Unknown                                                                                                       
8. “Don’t take life so seriously, it isn’t permanent.” – Unknown
9. “Don’t regret doing things, regret getting caught.” – Unknown                                                                                             
10. “Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.”

Quotes About Sarcasm

1. “If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”
2. “A conclusion is a part where you got tired of thinking.”
3. “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”
4. “Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.”
5. “The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.”
6. “Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.”
7. “Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.”
8. “A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.”
9. “Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.”
10. “There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.