Looking for cute and funny quotes for your family? We have rounded up the best collection of funny family quotes, sayings, captions, jokes, status, one-liners, (with images, memes, and pictures) to make you laugh out loud.
Most families are unique and crazy in their own ways and their members. It may be a happy crazy family, or a dysfunctional one, or an annoying one, but each family has its own unique fun ways which make them family.
We have collected these funny quotes about family so that you will know that you’re not alone having a goofy family add so its time to add some humor to your crazy family gatherings and pics.
Funny Family Quotes
“I was normal two kids ago.” Funny Family Quotes
“Some call it chaos we call it family.”
“Home is wherever my bunch of crazies are.” Funny Dysfunctional Family Quotes
“Caller ID was invented for family screening.”
“In my family, crazy doesn’t skip a generation.” Funny Family Sayings
“Well, that escalated quickly” is our family motto.” Funniest Family Quotes
“The bigger your family, the bigger your problems.”
“Family is like that annoying itch you can’t scratch.” Humorous Family Quotes
“If you think I’m crazy wait till you meet my family.” Funny Family Memes
“My family is temperamental. Half temper, half mental.”
“I sustain myself with the love of family.” – Maya Angelou
“We are more than family. We are like a really small gang.” Funny Family Quotes Images
“Our family is just one tent away from a full-blown Circus.” Funny Family Quotes Pictures
“Never let an angry sister comb your hair.”- Patricia McCann
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”- Wayne H.
“Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.” – Cary Grant
“A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.”
“Remember as far as anyone knows we’re a nice, normal family.” Funny Family Quotes For Instagram
“Being part of a family means smiling for photos.”- Harry Morgan
“Posterity is the patriotic name for grandchildren.” – Art Linkletter
“Family: A little bit of crazy, a little bit of loud and a whole lot of love.” Christmas Family Quotes Funny
“FAMILY: We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.”
“You can not choose your family, but you can ignore their phone calls!” Funny Family Captions
“Families are like fudge – mostly sweet, with a few nuts.” – Les Dawson
“Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children.” – Sam Levinson
“A family reunion is an effective form of birth control.” – Robert A. Heinlein
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”- Erma Bombeck
“Never underestimate a child’s ability to get into more trouble.” – Martin Mull
“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”- Rodney Dangerfield
“All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.”- W.C. Fields
“Having a child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee.”- David Frost
“Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” – John Stewart
“I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast?”- Jeff Lindsay
“Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off.”- Ralph Bus
“Good News: The holidays are about family. Bad News: It has to be your own family.” Funny Family One Liners
“If you don’t believe in ghosts, you’ve never been to a family reunion.”- Ashleigh Brilliant
“I smile because you’re my family…. I laugh because there’s nothing you can do about it!” Funny Quotes About Family
“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”- Buddy Hackett
“I saw a store that has a sign that reads “We treat you like family!” Yup, not going in there.”
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”- George Burns
“The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it.”- Erma Bombeck
“To encourage my little kid to eat something, I would sometimes say: Just pretend it is sand.”
“Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie, not perfect but who’s complaining?” – Robert Brault
“Every family has that one crazy person in it. If you’re missing one I seem to have a few extras.”
“Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don’t have the top for.” – Jerry Seinfeld
“Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you can’t.” Laugh Family Funny Quotes
“In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced in television.” – Erma Bombeck
“I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom.”- Bob Hope
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”- George Bernard Shaw
“Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.”- Douglas Adams
“The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.”- Robert Brault
“I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.”- Anthony Anderson
“Children are a great comfort in your old age-and they help you reach it faster, too.”- Lionel Kauffman
“Strangers think I’m great. My friends think I’m eccentric. My family knows that I am completely insane!”
“The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”- George Carlin
“Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.” – Michael Levine
“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.” – Phyllis Diller
“One day you will do things for me that you hate. That is what it means to be family.”- Jonathan Safran Foer
“If you want to call a family meeting, just turn off the Wi-Fi router and wait in the room in which it is located.”
“The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.”- Nancy Mitford
“I think the family is the place where the most ridiculous and least respectable things in the world go on.”- Ugo Betti
“There are only two things a child will share willingly-communicable diseases and his mother’s age.”- Benjamin Spock
“Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.”- Earl Wilson
“The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out his nose.” – Garrison Keillor
“In some families, “please” is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was “sorry”.”- Margaret Laurence
“Siblings: Children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.” – Sam Levenson
“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”- Sam Levenson
“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.”- Friedrich Nietzsche
“Brother: “Hey dad, I got a girlfriend.” Dad: “Good job son.” Sister: “Hey daddy, I got a boyfriend.” Dad: *loads shotgun.*”
“Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.”- Jerry Seinfeld
“No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.” – Florida Scott-Maxwell
“The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.”- Jean Kerr
“Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.”- Marcelina Hardy
“That time you realize your kids are in bed sleeping yet you’ve been watching The Disney Channel for the past hour by yourself.”
“Having children is like living in a frat house—nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” – Ray Romano
“Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million-dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.”- Jim Bishop
“You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.” – Jerry Seinfeld
“The informality of family life is a blessed condition that allows us all to become our best while looking our worst.” –Marge Kennedy
“All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with white carpet is one of them.”- Erma Bombeck
“Family is just accident…They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are.”- Marsha Norman
“The family – that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to.” – Dodie Smith
“When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.” – George Bernard Shaw
“Mother Nature is wonderful. She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers.”- Eugene Bertin
“My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called “Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film”.” – Penelope Lombard
“The LEE family has really been stressing me out! Perhaps know them? Emotional Lee, Mental Lee, Physical Lee and lets not forget, Financial Lee!”
“Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.”- Evan Esar
“In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this rule of thumb about happy families, that they are least two-thirds incontinent.”- Robert Brault
“If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that members not present and subjects discussed were one and the same.”- Robert Brault
“In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat.”- Anna Quidlen
“Teenagers, are you tired of being harassed by your stupid parents? Act now. Move out, get a job, and pay your own bills–while you still know everything.” – John Hinde
“Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.” – Chelsea Handler
“From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.”- Jarod Kintz
“For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life’s list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.”- Jeff Foxworthy
“Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or -wife, your ex’s new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate’s ex and any new mate that your new mate’s ex has acquired.”- Delia Ephron
Which of these blended family quotes and sayings do you relate the most to? Do you have any other favorite quotes to add? Let us know in the comment section below.
Feel free to share these quotes on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, with friends and family.
