45 of Dorothy Parker’s Best Quotes

Check out these list of Dorothy Parker quotes from her best poems, covering a range of topics like love, suicide, heartbreak, and shattered dreams.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) was a poet, short story writer, essayist, and legendary wit. She was closely associated with the circle of writers known as the Algonquin Round Table.

‘The Choice’ and ‘But Not Forgotten’ are two Dorothy Parker poems sometimes cited as the poet’s best. Other well-known pieces include ‘Resumé’ and ‘A Dream Lies Dead.’

In 1926, Parker published her first book of poetry, Enough Rope, which became a bestseller. Her other collections include Sunset Gun (1928) and Death and Taxes (1931).

No matter what you’ve been through, you’re likely to find words here that resonates with you and offers inspiration.

Top 10 Dorothy Parker Quotes

  1. “Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.” — Dorothy Parker 

    dorothy parker quotes
    dorothy parker quotes
  2. “One more drink and I’ll be under the host.” — Dorothy Parker
  3. “Their pooled emotions wouldn’t fill a teaspoon.” — Dorothy Parker 

    famous Dorothy Parker quotes
    famous Dorothy Parker quotes
  4. “Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.” — Dorothy Parker 

    quotes from Dorothy Parker
    quotes from Dorothy Parker
  5. “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.” — Dorothy Parker 

    quotes of Dorothy Parker
    quotes of Dorothy Parker
  6. “You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.” — Dorothy Parker 

    Best Dorothy Parker Quotes
    Best Dorothy Parker Quotes
  7. “I don’t care what is written about me so long as it isn’t true.” — Dorothy Parker 

    Dorothy Parker Quote
    Dorothy Parker Quote
  8. “Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.” — Dorothy Parker
  9. “The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.” — Dorothy Parker 

    Dorothy Parker Sayings
    Dorothy Parker Sayings
  10. “Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.” — Dorothy Parker

Best Dorothy Parker Writing Quotes

  1. “I hate writing, I love having written.” — Dorothy Parker
  2. “You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.” — Dorothy Parker
  3. “Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.” — Dorothy Parker
  4. “If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.” — Dorothy Parker
  5. “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.” — Dorothy Parker
  6. “The two most beautiful words in the English language are ‘cheque enclosed.’” — Dorothy Parker
  7. “This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.” — Dorothy Parker
  8. “There’s a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.” — Dorothy Parker (on writing)
  9. “That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.” — Dorothy Parker
  10. “I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.” — Dorothy Parker

Dorothy Parker Quotes On Life & Love

  1. “Time doth flit; oh shit.” — Dorothy Parker
  2. “If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?” — Dorothy Parker
  3. “Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.” — Dorothy Parker
  4. “I can’t write five words but that I change seven.” — Dorothy Parker
  5. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.” — Dorothy Parker
  6. “Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.” — Dorothy Parker
  7. “The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.” — Dorothy Parker
  8. “Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.” — Dorothy Parker
  9. “If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.” — Dorothy Parker
  10. “The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.” — Dorothy Parker
  11. “I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.” —Dorothy Parker

Famous Quotes From Dorothy Parker 

  1. “What fresh hell is this?” — Dorothy Parker
  2. “Brevity is the soul of lingerie.” — Dorothy Parker
  3. “Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.” — Dorothy Parker
  4. “A hangover is the wrath of grapes.” — Dorothy Parker
  5. “They sicken of the calm who know the storm.” — Dorothy Parker
  6. “Tell him I was too fucking busy– or vice versa.” ― Dorothy Parker
  7. “I don’t have to attend every argument I am invited to.” — Dorothy Parker
  8. “I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.” — Dorothy Parker
  9. “Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.” — Dorothy Parker
  10. “I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.” — Dorothy Parker
  11. “I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.” — Dorothy Parker
  12. “This wasn’t just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.” — Dorothy Parker

Conclusion

In essence, Dorothy Parker’s wit and wisdom offer more than just amusement; they provide a lens through which we can better understand the world around us. Her legacy lives on in her clever observations and the way she beautifully blended humor with profound insight.

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