Looking for some humor to tickle your funny bone on Halloween? We have rounded up the best collection of Halloween jokes, funny Halloween puns, spooky Halloween one-liners, and a lot more hilarious stuff to make you laugh out loud this Halloween with skeletons and ghosts.
These skeleton and Halloween jokes are perfect for kids and adults to enjoy at scary Halloween parties and lighten up the pumpkin theme. These silly and funny Halloween jokes are cheesy, silly, hilarious, creepy, spooky, scary and can really lighten up any stressful in a Halloween themed party.
Also See: Funny Pumpkin Jokes And Riddles
From fathers to kids and adults everyone can enjoy these amazing dad jokes be it at a get-together, dinner table, or a birthday party.
Halloween Jokes And One Liners (2024)
- What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
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What did one ghost say to the other? Get a life!
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Where do ghosts go on holidays? The Boohamas.
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What do demons eat for breakfast? Deviled eggs.
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Where do ghosts like to trick-or-treat? Dead ends.
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Why didn’t the zombie go to school? He felt rotten!
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What do skeletons say before dining? Bone Appetit!
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What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.
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Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.
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What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A sax-a-bone.
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What type of plates do skeletons like to use? Bone china.
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What can you catch from a vampire in winter? Frostbite.
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Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation? The Dead Sea!
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Do you know how to make a witch itch? You take away the w!
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How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
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The skeleton didn’t mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
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What’s it like being kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
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Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom? He had no body to go with.
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What do female ghosts use to do their makeup? Vanishing Cream!
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Where is the best place to party on Halloween? The g-RAVE-yard.
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What do you call two witches sharing an apartment? Broommates.
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What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred? Spooktacles.
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Why do ghosts make the best cheerleaders? Because they have spirit.
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Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
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What sound do witches make when they eat cereal? Snap, Cackle & Pop!
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Why do ghosts hate when it rains on Halloween? It dampens their spirits.
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How do you know vampires love baseball? They turn into bats every night.
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Why did the skeleton climb up the tree? Because a dog was after his bones!
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Who did the scary ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up!
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What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? Fangs-giving!
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Why did the Headless Horseman get a job? He was trying to get ahead in life.
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What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.
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Why are ghosts so bad at telling lies? Because you can see right through them.
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Wanna know why skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
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Why do mummies make good employees? They get all wrapped up in their work.
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The skeleton couldn’t help being afraid of the storm—he just didn’t have any guts.
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The favored historical ruler of skeletons is none other than Napoleon Bone-a-part.
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Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story? Because there are so many plots there!
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Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend!
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Why do Jack-o-lanterns have wicked smiles? Because they just had their brains scooped out!
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Why did the werewolf have to sign a new contract on the full moon? He went through a modification!
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What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost as they drove down the street? Buckle your sheet belt!
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What did one thirsty vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue? Let’s stop in for a cool one!
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How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
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What goes “Ha-ha-ha-ha!” right before a gigantic sounding crash and then keeps laughing? A monster laughing it’s head off!
Funny Halloween Jokes For Kids (2022)
From corny Halloween jokes to Halloween jokes for kids that’ll help make the days leading up to October 31st more fun.
These hilarious and funny Halloween jokes and puns are all about your favorite Halloween-themed icons, such as witches, skeletons, ghosts and werewolves. Enjoy them!
- What is a witch’s favorite class? Spelling!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.
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What is a vampire’s pet peeve? A Tourniquet!
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Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Bootiques.
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What is a vampire’s favorite sport? Casketball.
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How do monsters like their eggs? Terror-fried.
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What is a ghost’s favourite meal? Spook-ghetti.
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What do witches use on their hair? Scare-spray.
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Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
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What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal? Rice Creepies.
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Who do monsters buy cookies from? Ghoul scouts.
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What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us.
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How do ghosts search the Web? They use ghoul-gle.
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Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare.
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What did the bird say on Halloween? Twick or tweet.
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What kind of monster is the best dancer? The boogieman.
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What did the fisherman say on Halloween? Trick or trout.
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How does a vampire enter his house? Through the bat flap!
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Why are all of Superman’s costumes tight? They’re all size S.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops? A fence.
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The skeleton decided to bone up on the facts for the big exam.
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What has hundreds of ears but can’t hear a thing? A cornfield!
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Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep? Because of his coffin.
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What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.
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Why do ghosts like to hang out at bars? Because all of the Boos.
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What do skeletons fly around in? A scareplane or a skelecopter.
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Every Sunday, the skeleton plays his organ for the congregation.
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What did the girl horse dress up as for Halloween? A night mare.
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What do you call a chicken that haunts your house? A poultrygeist.
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What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A stake sandwich.
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Who are the werewolf’s cousins? The what-wolf and then when-wolf.
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Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
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How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern? You use a pumpkin patch!
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Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift? Because she had bad blood.
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What do you call a spirit who gets too close to a campfire? A toasty ghosty!
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Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees? They’re LUMBARjacks!
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Why are there fences around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.
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Why didn’t the mummy have any friends? He was too wrapped up in himself.
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How do you know you’ve been ghosted? The poltergeist doesn’t text you back.
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Why didn’t the coffee bean go to the Halloween party? Because it was grounded.
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What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? The house was repossessed.
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Why do ghosts love the new lease accounting standards? They increase transparency.
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Why do ghosts love going to Six Flaggs? Because they can ride lots of roller-GHOST-ers.
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How do you get inside a locked cemetery at night? Use a Skeleton Key to unlock the gates!
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The skeleton canceled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart wasn’t in it.
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Why did the baby wrap itself in white cloth strips? It was just trying to be just like its mummy.
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Why did the werewolf go to the dressing room when he saw the full moon? He needed to change.
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The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it? A coffin.
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What Halloween candy should you give trick-or-treaters if you want them to think you’re rich? A 100 grand candy bar.
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Did you hear about the chopper that crashed in the cemetery? Search and rescue workers have recovered 100 bodies and expect that number to climb as digging continues.
Spooky Halloween Puns And Riddles (2024)
- What is in a ghost’s nose? Boo-gers.
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What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
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Why Jack-o-lantern afraid? It has no guts.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.
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What’s a witch’s favorite makeup? Ma-scare-a.
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What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray!
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What room does a ghost not need? A living room.
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What kind of shoes does a ghost wear? Boooooots
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What do skeletons order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
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What’s a skeleton’s favorite song? “Bad to the Bone.”
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What do you call a witch at the beach? A sand-witch.
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What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
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What’s a ghost’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghoul-iet.
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What is a recess at a mortuary called? A Coffin Break!
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Where do ghosts buy their food? At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper.
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Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.
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How do you know when a ghost is sad? He starts boo hooing.
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I wanted to tell a skeleton pun, but I don’t have the guts for it.
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Why was the little ghost crying? Because he wanted his Mummy.
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How do mummies tell their future? They read their horror-scope.
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Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
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Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.
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Why did the ghost starch his sheet? He wanted everyone scared stiff.
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What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow? A numb-skull.
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Why can’t skeletons play church music? Because they have no organs.
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Why did the ghost quit studying? Because he was too ghoul for school.
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Why didn’t the skeleton go to the scary movie? He didn’t have the guts.
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Why didn’t Dracula have any friends? Because he was a pain in the neck.
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Why couldn’t the mummy go to school with the witch? He couldn’t spell.
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Why do witches ride broomsticks? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
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Why wouldn’t the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn’t have any guts.
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Where does a skeleton go for a fun night? Anywhere, as long as it’s a hip joint.
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The skeleton knew what would happen next—he could just feel it in his bones.
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What does a ghost mom say when she gets in the car? Fasten your sheet-belts.
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What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music.
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Why did the headless horseman go into business? He wanted to get ahead in life.
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What is it called when Dracula rearranges his furniture with his teeth? Fang-shui
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The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn’t have one.
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Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
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What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing? Get a broom!
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Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween? It didn’t have a haunting license.
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What did the ghost teacher say to her class? Watch the board and I’ll go through it again.
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Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend!
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How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
Halloween Dad Jokes (2024)
- Where do ghosts go on vacation? Mali-boo.
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What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
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Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.
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What’s the best way to get rid of a demon? Exorcise a lot.
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Who’s the scariest body builder of all time? Dr. Frankenstein.
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How do vampires start their letters? “Tomb it may concern…”
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I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn’t find it very humerus.
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What do dentists hand out at Halloween? Candy. It’s good for business.
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I dropped my pumpkin yesterday. Jack-o-lantern? More like crack-o-lantern!
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How many cannibals does it take to change a lightbulb? I don’t know but you really shouldn’t be in the dark with a cannibal.
Funny Zombie Jokes And Puns (2024)
- What sea do zombies swim in? The dead sea.
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What’s a zombie’s favorite cheese? Zom-brie.
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What do vegetarian zombies eat? Graaaains!
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Where do zombies live? On a dead-end street.
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Why don’t zombies like pirates? They’re too salty.
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What do you call zombies in pajamas? The sleepwalking dead.
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What brand of shampoo do zombies use? Head and Shoulders.
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Why aren’t zombies ever arrested? They can’t be captured alive.
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Why did the zombie become a mortician? To put food on the table.
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How do you know if a zombie likes someone? They ask for seconds.
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What’s a zombie’s favorite weather? Cloudy, with a chance of brain.
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What do you call a movie about zombies finding true love? A zom-com.
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Why don’t zombies eat popcorn with their hands? They eat their hands separately.
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What’s a zombie’s favorite treat? You might guess brain food, but it’s actually eye candy.
Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes
- Knock Knock? “Who’s there?” Ivana! “Ivana who?” Ivana suck your blood!
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Knock Knock? “Who’s there?” Iguana. “Iguana who?” Iguana eat all your candy.
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Knock, Knock… “Who’s there?” Ben! “Ben who?” Ben waiting to get candy all day!
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Knock Knock? “Who’s there?” Witch! “Witch who?” Witch one of you has my candy?
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Knock, knock! “Who’s there?” Boo. “Boo who?” Don’t cry! I didn’t mean to scare you.
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Knock Knock? “Who’s there?” Orange! “Orange who?” Orange you glad it’s Halloween?
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Knock Knock? “Who’s there?” Figs! “Figs who?” Figs your doorbell so I can stop knocking!
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Knock, knock! Who’s there?” Howl! “Howl who?” Howl you know unless you open the door!
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Knock, Knock… “Who’s there?” Phillip! “Phillip who?” Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
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Knock, Knock… “Who’s there?” Witch! “Witch who?” Witch one of you will give me lots of Halloween candy?
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Knock Knock! “Who’s there?” Cement. “Cement who?” Cement to scream when she saw Dracula but she fainted instead!
