Looking for some hilarious fish jokes and puns that are off the scale? We have rounded up the best collection of fish jokes, funny fish puns, humorous fish one-liners, memes, and a lot more hilarious stuff to make you laugh out loud.
Witty and interesting fish jokes and one-liners can sometimes be the best way to lighten up at a dinner table with kids and adults too. Especially these funny fish jokes though silly can make your kids burst into laughter.
These funny and hilarious jokes can really be entertaining and crack you up. The silliness involved sometimes will make you wonder whether it qualifies as a joke or not.
These funny jokes on fish are categorized in these sections;
Fish Jokes
Humorous Jokes About Fish
Funny Fish Puns And One-Liners
Knock Knock Fish Jokes
Hilarious Fishing Jokes
Funny Seafood Jokes
Don’t forget to check out our collection of lame jokes and best dad jokes which are not only funny, but they are also pretty clever and witty.
Fish Jokes
What kind of fish eats mice? A catfish.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
What do you call a fish doctor? A Sturgeon.
How do you talk to a fish? You drop it a line!
What does a fish wear to keep warm? A shoal!
What do fish take to stay healthy? Vitamin Sea.
fish jokes
How do shellfish take photos? With a clam-era.
Where do fish go to borrow money? A loan-shark.
What do fish sing during winter? Christmas corals!
What kind of fish only comes out at night? A starfish.
Why are fish so smart? Because they swim in schools.
What do you call a fish with lots of money? A goldfish.
funny fish jokes
Why do fish swim in schools? Because they can’t walk.
What do you call a fish with two legs? A two-knee fish.
Why are fish so lucky? They seize every oppor-tuna-ty.
How do shellfish get to the hospital? In a clambulance.
Which country do fish like to go for a vacation? Finland.
What do whales have for dinner? They eat fish and ships!
What day of the week do all fish dislike the most? Fryday.
Where does a killer whale go for braces? The Orca-Dontist.
Why do fish eat worms? Because they get hooked on them!
How do religious fish always start off their prayers? Dear cod.
Where do goldfish love to travel? Usually just around the globe.
Did you hear about the fight in the kitchen? A fish got battered!
Why did the fish get bad grades? Because it was below sea level.
Funny Fish Jokes And Riddles
Why don’t fish like basketball? Because they’re afraid of the net!
Why do fish always lose their court cases? They are always gill-ty.
Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because they have their own scales.
Why didn’t the fish pass their exams? They worked below C – level.
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
If you’re going to roe-mance, then you’ll want to consider the caviar.
What did the pirate fish make the prisoner fish do? Walk the plankton.
What happens when you mix a fish and a banker? You get a loan shark.
What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals? Autotuna
What type of music should you listen to whilst fishing? Something catchy.
Fishing Jokes
What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant? Swimming trunks.
What did the shark say after eating a clownfish? That tasted a little bit funny!
I have a fish that can breakdance! Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
How do you become an entrepreneur in the ocean? You start on a small scale!
Why will fish never take responsibility? Because it’s always salmon else’s fault.
Why wouldn’t the crab share with the lobster? Because he was acting shellfish!
How can you tell the puffer-fish had too much salt at dinner? He’s looking blow-ted.
What did one fish say to the other? Keep your mouth shut and you’ll never get caught!
Did you hear about the brawl at the fish and chip shop? Many fish were apparently battered!
What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish!
What’s the only right answer when a salmon asks you for a light? I didn’t know you smoked, salmon.
It is a known fact that the swordfish is the best dressed animal in the ocean. He always dresses sharp.
Why was the shark angry about leaving the restaurant early? Because he couldn’t even fin-ish his meal.
Why are dolphins so smart? Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
A little fish walks into a bar. The bartender asks the fish “What can I get you?” The little fish replies (gasping) “Water! I need water!”
Humorous Jokes About Fish
What is a pirate’s favorite fish? A swordfish.
What do you call a lazy Crawfish? A slobster.
Where do you find a fish in orbit? Trouter space.
What’s the fastest fish in the lake? A motor-Pike.
What did the fish get on his math test? A sea plus.
funny jokes about fish
Who eats at underwater restaurants? Scuba diners.
Who granted the fish’s wish? The fairy cod mother!
What do you call a dog underwater? A Scooby diver.
Which fish is the biggest tool? A hammerhead shark.
I have always admired fishermen. They are reel men.
What do you call a group of singing fish? A choral reef.
What did the goldfish say when he got fed? “Tank poo.”
What do you call a fish that is not smart? A dumb bass.
How do you make a goldfish old? You take away the “g.”
What game show do fish love the most? Name that tuna!
How do fish go into business? They start on a small scale!
jokes about fish
Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
What do you call a fish that practices medicine? A Sturgeon.
How do you make a goldfish age? Take out the “g” and “fish.”
Where do fishermen go to get their hair cut? The bobber shop.
How much money does Gill Gates have? About a gillion dollars.
How did the oyster manage to hide from the fish? Clamouflage!
What do you call a fish that won’t shut up? A big-mouthed bass.
Did you hear about the evil tuna? He was rotten to the albacore.
What’s the head of the underwater mafia called? The Codfather.
What’s weirder than seeing a cat fish? Watching a goldfish bowl.
I made some fish tacos last night. They just swam right past them.
I’ve bought an underwater craft in a bright green color. It’s sublime!
How many tickles will it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
Why shouldn’t you ask a fish vendor for help? Because they’re selfish.
What is the easiest way to catch a fish? Have someone throw it to you.
When should you be afraid of an underwater plant? When it’s anemone.
My child will not eat fish, what can I replace it with? A cat. Cats love fish.
Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt? Now he’s a bronze fish.
So I started this new underwater band-project I hope you guys like aquapella!
What did one fatty tuna say to the other? “We’re in this together, toro and toro.”
Why did the dog jump from the boat into the ocean? He thought he saw a catfish.
Did you know that there are more airplanes underwater …than submarines in the sky?
Why aren’t there every any job openings at the fish company? They’ve been scaling back.
Why are fish cleverer than people? Ever see a fish spend a fortune trying to catch a human?
Why did the scuba divers start laughing when they got near the coral reefs? They saw a clownfish.
I am alive without breath and cold as death. I am never thirsty but always drinking. What am I? Fish.
What did the tunafish sandwich who woke up in Oz say? “I’ve got a feeling we’re not in cans-us anymore.”
Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One bird asks the other one “Does something smell a little fishy to you?”
I met a fish from the future and asked him what his favorite genre of music was. He answered: “Future Bass.”
How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? One, but you should have seen the bulb – it was THIS big!
What does the telephone solicitor fish say when the person they’re calling picks up? “Cod I have a moment of your time?”
The only thing I can take seriously in the newspapers nowadays is fish and chips… And even that I take with a pinch of salt.
What did the fish dating guru say to the hopeful sea bass? “If you’re going for roe-mance, you’ll want to consider the caviar.”
What did the fish artist say to the art curator about his latest piece? “Hey, would you mind letting minnow what you think about this one?”
Funny Fish Puns And One-Liners
You’re so so-fish-ticated!
Well, salmon had to say it.
I’m feeling fin-tastic today.
Where do fish sleep? On a water bed!
What do you call a singing fish? A tuna.
I’m sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow…
That’s enough fish puns for today, I think we should scale back.
fish puns
That was a terrible joke, I’d make him walk the plankton for that!
Why are an octopuses arms called tentacles when there are only 8 of them.
Two fish swam into a concrete wall, one turns to the other and says “Dam!”
There was a massive fight today at the fish restaurant. One fish got battered!
Did you hear that the pearl thief is still at large? Some are calling it a clamity!
There was a sale today at the fish market, so I went to see what the catch was.
fish jokes for adults
Have you thought of a fish pun yet or do you need some more time to mullet over?
Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says “How do you drive this thing?”
Yesterday I had a cup of coffee with a penguin. He said he would have preferred a fish.
My dad was a fisherman, however, he called quit since his net income was not enough.
When another fish tries to make you think you’re cray-zy, tell them to stop bass-lighting.
What did the man say when everyone was getting annoyed at his fish puns? “I really should scale back.”
Knock Knock Fish Jokes
Enjoy these insanely knock knock fish jokes and riddles with kids and adults. There are witty, amusing and will surely make you giggle with the hilariours answers.
Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” Fish. “Fish who?” Fish-ious temper you have there, you need to calm down!
Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” Fish. “Fish who?” Fish you a Merry Christmas, we fish you a Merry Christmas!
Hilarious Fishing Jokes
If you love the ocean, seafood and fishing, then there’s always something fishy on your mind. For all the fishing maniacs, these interesting fishing jokes will surely split your gills.
I sometimes just go fishing for the halibut!
What does every fisherman want? A gillfriend.
Where does a fish keep its money? A riverbank!
Why is fishing such good business? The net profits.
What is the most famous fish you can catch? A starfish!
What is the most valuable fish you can catch? A goldfish.
What do you call hunting for fish in Chernobyl? Nuclear fishin’.
Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark? He only had two worms.
What’s the fish that makes this sound “ shhhhhhhhhhhhh” ? The fried fish.
What do you call a man and a woman who own a fishing store? Rod and Annette.
What do you get if you cross a fishing rod with a P.E sock? A hook, line and stinker!
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing? Something with a good tune-a!
Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together? Because Robin ate all the worms!
Game warden: Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, son? Boy: I’m not fishing, sir. I’m teaching these worms how to swim!
A Newfie went ice fishing and heard a voice say, “There’s no fish there.” He gets up and goes a few feet further. Digs a hole and starts fishing again. Again, he hears the voice: “There’s no fish there.” Looking up, the Newfie says, “Is that you, Lord?” To which the voice replied, “No. It’s the Manager of the Arena.”
Funny Seafood Jokes
Who doesn’t love seafood? The salmon and tuna make great dishes and some jokes too. So if you are relishing some great seafood on your dinner table, why not crack the funniest jokes about seafood and fishing pick up lines to go ROFL with your family.
What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships.
How did the oyster manage to hide from the fish? Clamouflage!
What did a shark eat with it’s peanut butter sandwich? A jellyfish.
Why did the crab keep all the food to themselves? Because it was a shellfish!
What would you have if you crossed an owl with an oyster? An animal that gives you pearls of wisdom!
What are your fav jokes on the list above? Read on to find these funny quotes on silliness that will make you happy and cheerful and will lower your stress levels for sure.
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