Looking for some witty and humorous one-liners on life? We have rounded up some of the best collections of funny one-liners on life, funny quotes, hilarious captions, and sarcastic status messages and jokes.
Here are some one-liners about life that will surely get a smile on your face. Don’t take life too seriously. Just laugh. That’s the perfect counterbalance to life.
Also See: Funny Words of Wisdom
Life is full of many ironical aspects that are beyond human comprehension. So, ‘Never take life seriously, no one gets out alive’ is an oft-heard and good one-liner that inspires people to be positive about life and makes you laugh.
In this article, we shall read some really funny and sarcastic quotes that will help you see why life should always be taken with a pinch of salt. These quotes are not only funny, they are also pretty clever and witty.
Funny One-Liners On Life
- “Life is a terminal disease.”
- “Take my advice — I’m not using it.”
- “A clean house is a sign of a misspent life”
- “Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything”
- “If you fall, I’ll be there.” – Floor
- “Where there’s a will, there are five hundred relatives”
- “Always be sincere, even if you don’t mean it.”
- “It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission”
- “Now that I made it weird, I’m going to make my exit”
- “I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you”
- “Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity”
- “He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame”
- “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
- “I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it”
- “We never really grow up we only learn how to act in public.”
- “The important thing to remember is not to forget.”
- “The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.”
- “If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur!”
- “What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?”
- “Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice”
- “Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it”
- “Seven days without laughter makes one weak.” ― Mort Walker
- “Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.” ― Morris Kline
- “If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary forms”
- “God must love stupid people because he made so many of them.”
- “The best things in life are free but you still have to pay shipping”
- “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” ― Steven Wright
- “The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.”
- “When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails.”
- “By the time you learn the rule of life, you’re too old to play the game.”
- “If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.” ― Lawrence Ferlinghetti
- “Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.” ― Cindy Gerard, To the Limit
- “Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, “Where the heck is the ceiling?!”
- “Water is the most essential element in life, because without it you can’t make coffee.” ― Karen Salmansohn
- “Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock and finding that you still have two hours left to sleep.” ― Charles M. Schultz
More Funny Quotes and Captions
If you are motivated by these wise words of wisdom, feel free to spread the positive vibes and share them with friends and family on Pinterest, Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, Twitter, and more.
